if you can resist the urge, then can you explain a few things?

whenf

 

So you think you can resist dressing this way, the next time?  You cannot.  Ask yourself these questions.

  • Why do you think about doing this so often?
  • Why are you reading this blog?
  • Why are you wearing or wishing you were wearing silky lacy  panties right now?
  • Why could you not resist dressing in female attire the last time that you did?
  • Why does your biological sex organ from becoming stiff as a board and rock hard just thinking about this? 

Well this side of you, this special excitement, this desire is not going away.  You cannot control it, stop it or make it go away. It’s been that way since you were a young boy.  You know that’s the truth you try to hide. 

whenf1

 

Yes the desire to do this is deeply ingrained in you.  It may be suppressed for a period of time but it never goes away. Nobody changes their sexual desires and attractions.  Everybody manages them.  Denial, suppression does not work.  It will fail just like it has every other time in your past.  

It is time for you to understand, SHE is going to have HER way with you.  Whether you want to or not. You are going to be dressed as a pretty girl, time and time again.  You cannot resist or stop her. The girl inside of you – she has you in her powerful grip She always has had you in her grip and she always will.   

Time for you to be a well behaved girl.  Put on your panties, stockings, dress, and high heels NOW.  She has decided it is time for you to dress again.  You know it is.  That’s why you’re reading this blog.  The desire is building again, it will soon be too powerful to resist and you cannot stop it. 


when1

This is your inescapable fate, relax and get dressed.   Fight and resist if you must.  But she is going to put your back in panties, stockings, dress and high heels again.  It will happen shorty whether you try and resist or not.  She always wins and deep down inside you know it.  So be a good girl and put your pretty feminine clothes on right now. 

when3

On Fire: Male Submissive’s Feminine Mindset, Sexual Desire, and Spanked Ass

This blog is about real life experiences unless I otherwise say so in an entry.  Well, this blog entry is all about Real Life but it is mostly about an honest true portrait of my real desires.  YES I would have done ALL of these these things and would still do them today.  Many of these things have been done with Mistress Samantha.  So some parts of this are truly aspirations and dreams to be fulfilled. Reality of real life submission is it should include your true honest thoughts and desires. Everything in this blog I wanted done and still want done.

My burning fire which will not subside is about being feminized, disciplined, dominated, controlled, and emasculated by my mommy.  Especially emasculated.  

Mommy feminizing son

Yes Mommy – I wanted you to catch me dressed in your pretty sexy and most feminine clothes.  I wanted you to PERSONALLY dress me in your clothes from head to toe down to every little feminine detail.

Yes – I started sneaking in Mommy’s clothes at around age 10.  I loved to wear mommy’s black silky panties, bra’s, slips, dresses, sheer pantyhose and her tall black patent leather high heels.  I  used to tie myself up, bound with ropes tied spread eagle to HER bed hoping she would catch me.  I wanted her to find me, to see me dressed this way and for her to dominate/control and make me dress this way from now on.                                                       

Fantasy?  No the REAL truth for all to know and see.  I have wanted this my whole life.  

I wanted Mommy to dominate, discipline, control, and feminize me from head to toe.  

mommy

Yes I wanted the full treatment from Mommy.  I still want the full treatment from Mommy.  Dressed by Mommy in the ultimate female dress – a bridal gown.  Chained to the couch – unable to escape.  My sister watching. Waiting for mommy’s friends and our relatives to come over.  I wanted to wear a bridal dress, wear it for everybody to see.  Dressed completely from head to toe including the jewelry, nail polish and makeup.  Everything but a wig.  That’s so I can be shamed, humiliated, embarrassed by mommy in front of her and all her friends and our relatives.    

Did I really truthfully want Mommy to do this to me?  YES and I mean it !!!!

Oh the fire burns even more thinking of Mommy dominating me:

  • please mommy take me over your knee and spank me,  not for dressing in your clothes, but for sneaking into them without asking.
  • please mommy make me wear skirts, stockings and high heels at home since you caught me sneaking into your clothes
  • please mommy display me in front of all your girlfriends and every other females that knows me dressed in girls clothes
  • please mommy have your girlfriends, my sister and every female relative put me over their knee lift my skirt, pull down my panties and stockings in front of you and spank me bottom very very hard
  • please mommy I want to be your pretty baby girl.  I want Mommy to bottle fed me and to have to suck my bottle dry for mommy
Would I have wanted to be one of the boys in this picture and have Mommy do this to me?   YES - except leave off the wigs for the display.  Public ?  Perhaps this is a tad too far.  But just a tiny bit.  Tied to a pose frame in the house?  Yes, please mommy I beg, plead with you to do this to me.
Would I have wanted to be one of the boys in this picture and have Mommy do this to me? YES – except  I would want Mommy to be stricter and sterner.   Leave off the wigs for the display.  Total Public humiliation .   Yes Mommy I wanted that and still want that. I crave and burn for it to this day.  The ONLY reason I would hesitate is practical.   I would want any “do good=er” who saw me publicly punished trying to stop Mommy from doing it in private.  Once it starts it is to never stop.      

I could go on and on for hours.  

1453260_1410168609217702_1939676040_n (2)

 

I want to be put over the knee of other woman in front of Mommy.  My skirt lifted, panties down and spanked while Mommy watched and encouraged her to spank me harder and harder.  Yes an over the knee bare ass spanking wearing mommy’s dress, stockings, high heels  in front of mommy until my bottom is beat red.   Of course, when I do the clothes go back into place.  

 

You will wear dresses, stockings, and high heels in front of Mommy for the rest of your life.  Fast forward 25 years.  Yes I still crave and want this.
Yes I wanted Mommy’s domination and dressing in her clothes in front of her to last forever.   I wanted no way out or escape from it.  In a dress, high heels, stockings even as an adult 25 years later.   Yes, I still crave and want this.  Mistress and Mommy are now one and the same.  All my thoughts and desires are very real and ultra powerful.  Yes I want their to be significant consequences of revealing this to Mommy.    Yes Mommy use this as the mere starting point.  Yes readers – I am asking for it.  The full complete treatment including never being able to escape.   In fact, I’m not asking for it, I’m begging for it for all the world to see.  

 

no control

A new dawn and beginning is emerging.  I can no longer control the submissive flames and feminine desires.  They now control me.  I can no longer resist them. I HAVE to frequently wear  silky panties, sheer stockings, lacy bra’s, high heels, and dresses.  I have to continually experience being dominated, control, disciplined by women.  Yes my need Mommy to feminize, dominate, and discipline her son burns in my inner core.   Please mommy hold nothing back – you know what to do – the complete treatment, the full dose, the entire package.  Increase – significantly increase – the psychological, emotional,  and intellectual control/domination of me.  Yes – you have me publicly begging, pleading and groveling for it.  

I want to be permanently enslaved to mommy.Dressed by mommy in panties, bra’s, garter belts, stockings, corsets, pantyhose, dresses, skirts/blouses, nightgowns, high heels, lipstick, lip gloss, eye shadow, eyeliner and mascara.  Kept tied, chained, and cuffed physical to be spanked, disciplined, and punished.  

But most all Mommy to be kept in full mental and psychological domination and control by you.  I’m ready for the 1st baby step Mommy   

 

 

Forced Feminization and Discipline of the Male Slave: Turnaround Is Fair Play, Richly Deserved and Well-Earned

I really do dislike the term sissy.  My belief is that many use this term because that is an expectation of others.  I find sissy behavior in most ways to be mocking and a parody of females.  It is borderline insulting to the females almost making fun of them.  

Female domination has a significant component that consists of male emasculation.  Males are to be thoroughly completely emasculated by their female owners.  It is the treatment they deserve. Emasculation is psychological castration keeping the male submissive in continual torment and submission.  Their tormented submissive state weakened state is used by their female owners to continue the molding and breaking process. They are helplessly led further and much deeper into submission to their female owner. 

Having males dress in female attire is about taking that psychological emasculation to the next level.  It is males who decided how females should be dressed as they set the expectations.  Now the worm has turned.  What got imposed on females is now imposed by female owners on their property.  Turnaround is called perfect justice.

Ah but once a female owner takes possession of her property just as she was expected to change her name – so must her possession.  Turnaround is fair play.  This is not just a label it is who you must become since you are now her property.   I am Miss Nina Paige.  To be clear my owner does not keep me dressed as a girl with a girls name.  No, instead she has psycologically turned me into a girl.  I am Miss.  I am Nina Paige.  I am psycologically all girl all the time now.  

The standard of my behavior and mantra – it is to be the most exquisite feminine lady in all respects.  One who is evolving at all times – becoming more feminine and more ladylike each and every day.  Males “came up” with the expectation that females are to be ladies. The turnaround continues some more. 

Ah but the worm must turn some more as per the picture below.

10294377_587988321298817_1377502655415586241_n

My owner does not allow the cock to be touched or stimulated without approval.  Masturbation is strictly prohibited.  

My owner has made it clear that a sexual reorientation program is in my future.  At some point when she decides to, the reorientation training will begin.  Sexual pleasure will only be allowed with a very deep penetration of me.  I will be reprogrammed to understand, want, crave and desire the deep strap on as the only form of sexual release.  This is not a question of if but a question of when.  

One final piece of turnaround fairness. Girls are expected to lick, suck and swallow every drop of what the cock emits,  The same is now required of Miss Nina Paige.  That training is well underway.  It is mandatory should I be given my owners permission or instruction to release. Ugh, ugh, ugh.  I don’t like it but I dare not miss one drop. 

The table have been completely turned. My owner has made it clear, I belong to her, the emasculation is just starting, my feminization has merely scratched the surface and my sexual reorientation training has not truly started. 

After 4 years of my owners training, I am truly helpless to resist, disobey or displease her. Even despite that I am only her “trainee”.  

The true training and intensity is yet to come.  

 

 

 

 

Did you wear Mommy’s panties, stockings, bra’s, high heels or dresses?

I would bet you did.  After all, you started to wear woman’s clothing when you were 13 or 14 years old.  There is no denying it – you started to dress like a girl when you first became aware of sexual desires.  It has always turned you on from the very beginning up until today.  You cannot resist it – that’s why you are reading this blog right now.  You cannot hide or escape your desires.  

Mommy’s clothes – do they have a special attraction for you?  Perhaps you started with your sisters clothes. Whose clothes did you start with?  Mommy’s or your sisters?  

  • Did you want Mommy to catch you and make you stay dressed as she caught you?  
  • Did you want Mommy to lift your skirt and spank you?
  • Did you want Mommy to display you dressed as a girl in front of others?

I will bet at least one of the above.  For me it is all three.

Time for you to publicly confess how. when, and whose clothes you started with by answering with a comment.   

The assumption that I’m a Sissy

Oh how I hate that term and that assumption.  Let me be clear, I do not criticize again who has a desire to be a “sissy”.  I do dislike the assumption I must be a “sissy” or want to suck a male cock.  To both I say UGH, UGH, UGH, and more UGH.  

Yes, I been dressing from head to toe in girl’s clothes since I was 12 or 13 years old.  It is a huge sexual turn-on.  HUGE, HUGE, HUGE.  Just hold up a pair of panties, bra’s or high heels in front of me and it’s a tormenting sexual tease.  Yes, I want to wear them with stockings, dresses, wigs, and high heels.  I want to wear them in front of other woman.   I want to be dominated, disciplined, and under the control of woman who know.  Yes – ladies if you know I’m wear panties and stockings – you have me already under your domination and control.  I love to be given orders. I’d love to be humiliated, embarrassed, disciplined and punished by you.  I want to be your slave girl, your very personal maid, your little lesbian play-toy. Let’s take my biological sexual item and cage it nice and small so we can play as we should. 

Behaving as a Sissy?  Definitely not my style.  A male cock?  Ugh – not of any interest to me at all.  My style has always been all girl-all the time.  I know of no female dressed in sexy clothes who behaves as a “sissy”, I have no interest either.  

I write this because I feel other who share my interests feel pressured or obligated to be a Sissy. If they don’t they hear this crap that they are repressing it.  Same thing with associating their sexual desires with wanting to be with other males.  That is all somebody’s propaganda and nonsense.  Your desires are your desires and you don’t need to feel pressured to be somebody you are not.

I’m “all girl-all the time” and LOL….much more submissive to females than their wildest imagination.  I am who I am.  You should be who you are.  Guess who understands this very well?  Well – Mistress Samantha of course

Female domination, discipline & control for all to see – A new chapter begins

Mistress has decided and instructed me to tell all of you about my last few meetings with her. Documented for all to read and see.

Am I’m embarrassed and ashamed to?  Very.  In fact mortified is a better word. 

If you are a new reader of this blog, let me make something clear to you.  I’m completely enslaved to Mistress Samantha.  I’m her personal property and possession.  I’m under her complete female domination, control, and discipline at all times.  I cannot say No to Mistress.  Everything she tells me, suggests or decides must be done without question, resistance or hesitation  All of this is done in a very 21st century way – via phone, via webcam, via instant messenger, via text messages and via email.  

  • Over 3 1/2 years ago, Mistress told me to shave the cock/balls – I was required to be totally hairless.  I told her NEVER.  The cock/balls have been totally hairless for 3+ years.  They will be kept hairless forever.  I must have her cock/balls thoroughly shaved at all times. 
  •  Over 3 years ago, Mistress decided that I would be wearing panties & stockings every day (24 hours a day, 7 days a week) for several months.  I have never removed them.  I will never be allowed to remove them.  I have been in silk lace panties and sheer stockings/pantyhose every day since.  

I’m her slave girl.  Yes she has turned me into a girl – total complete psychological control over me. Yes – all girl all the time now.  Unlike some (or much) that you read or see on the internet – that doesn’t mean attractions to male sexual organs.  Quite the opposite, my attraction to the female organs is EVEN stronger as a girl.  “Pussy” obsessed ?  Absolutely.  All girl – all the time.   Think the  “L” word because I am decidedly so.  

Now – some of our last meetings. A combination of different forms of discipline, control, and domination.  You see, Mistress has decided that I’m to be turned in her adult baby also.  Her baby girl and little boy being punished by Mommy.  Mommy’s little boy doesn’t get to wear a wig (at least not for long).  He is to dressed head-toe except the hair.  Punishment is more effective when you cannot mistake her little boy is dressed from head to toe as a girl.   Yes I’m mommy’s baby and little boy whenever she decides I will be.  Not only did she turn me into her baby, my pictures, video clips, and blog was shared with other adult females.  

Three weeks ago, Mommy wanted me to buy baby food ( strained peas, & bananas ), baby pacifiers  and a baby bottle.  I was dressed from head to toe in my pink Baby Bows dress from http://www.themaidstore.com.  

sat233-1

Yes dressed from head to toe in my pink baby bows dress sucking my pretty pink pacifier. You see Mommy’s control over me is even more powerful than Mistresses.  Mommy has complete total unconditional control.  Everything must be told to Mommy. Mommy’s control is all powerful — impossible to resist for even 1 split second.  Yes – I’m now her adult baby girl or disciplined little boy.  Mommy has me totally, powerfully, completely, helplessly in her grip.  When the time came to feed me my baby food, Mommy had me spoon the baby food into a bowl.   Then to my utter shock, I was told to lift my dress, drop my panties, and my stockings.  I was completely mortified when Mommy told me I had to cum into the bowl of peas.  I ejaculated a full amount in my bowl of baby food, mixed it and then proceeded to be spoon fed every drop of my cum soaked baby jar of peas from the bowl.  What I later learned was that Mommy had filmed the entire episode.   Yes – it is all on video – mommy’s feeding her baby.

On next meeting was a little different.  Fully attired as her pretty, sexy girl in a tight black mini-dress from Fredericks of Hollywood with my long flowing blonde wig.   Ah but I wasn’t going to escape more cum punishment.  This time I had to cum in the bowl and apply it to my face and lips. Letting it dry on.  I felt sick to my stomach as it dried on my face.

Our last meeting was the worse of all.  Dressed in a white satin bow blouse, a black pencil mini-skirt, super high 6 1/2″ black high heels ( non platform), black stockings, and my hair styled in a bun which had been done at Hair Craft salon by M.  ( for new readers – yes with me in the chair wearing it).  Mistress required me to cum into my hands, and lick every drop of cum from my hands but while I was doing this her cock was required to be fully submerged in a bowl of freezing ICE and ICE water.  I screamed and begged for Mistress to let me take her cock out of the freezing bowl but she would not.  Oh – I shutter at just thinking about it again.  Sick to my stomach licking the cum off the fingers while her cock was totally frozen.  Ultimately, I was broken to tears before Mistress allowed me to remove her cock from its frozen prison.

We have entered a new stage, one where I’m being taught to totally hate the way I used to cum. Pavlov’s dog.  Yes – when I used to cum, my feminine desires were then tormented, suppressed, controlled and locked into a cage.  These desires used to serve my cock.  Now I stay dressed as the girl I am afterwards.  Cumming the old way is to be severe punishment. Something not to be desired, but to be truly feared, disliked, and despised.  

The only acceptable, pleasurable way to cum will be with a PINK vibrator or a dildo thrust in.out of  my ass until I cum.  I am a slave girl and I will cum as one whenever mistress or mommy decides that I’m to be rewarded.  The old way will be used to punish, degrade, discipline and make the practice totally hated.

Trust me, I hate and despise the old way already.   

 

 

 

My enslavement

You lay in your bed wearing your ruffled black panties, your ultra sheer grey pantyhose, and your prettiest pink nightgown with black lace trim.  You are so turned on and you reach down and stroke yourself and the desires builds even more.  Yes you want to cum and you want to do so badly but you will not.  Indeed you physically can and nobody would ever know but it’s impossible for you to do so for Mistress has told you it is not allowed.  So you wiggle in total torment and submissive desire but there will be no relief for you today, tomorrow, or the next day.   

You are now totally, completely enslaved to Mistress Samantha. She has taken absolute complete control over you.  Every submissive thought, desire, and craving must be confessed to Mistress whenever they occur.  You are her submissive pet and her personal private possession.  You are profoundly, intensively, and deeply enslaved to her and as each day goes on – she owns, controls, and possesses you more and more.  The submissive/dominant relationship is transcendental, it is spiritual, it is sacred.  

Your thoughts are now how can you be more submissive, more obedient, more dominated, more controlled, more embarrassed, more humiliated, more disciplined, more punished, and more submissively trained by Mistress Samantha.  Your enslavement to her is something you cannot bear to be without.  Your deeply lust to continually experience more and more.  There is nothing that Mistress Samantha cannot do to you – ABSOLUTELY nothing and both you and Mistress know that.  

Yes dear – the enslavement to Mistress Samantha is real and very permanent.  Mistress totally owns, possess, and controls you and she will be keeping your in strict domination, control, discipline, and training for as long as it pleases, amuses, and suits her desires.    

 

 

Constant, continual and daily submission for over 3+ years

The constant silk stockings and lacy panties that I have been wearing every day for 3 years.  The continual turn-on and the ever present excitement of submission all the time.  

Am I really?  No it cannot be.  

Last week, I realized.  Am I really?  Yes, I am.  I really am.

 I am deeply, profoundly, intensely, completely, totally enslaved to Mistress Samantha.    I am now Mistress Samantha’s personal, private “submissive pet” that she owns and controls.  One that she has absolute power and unconditional control over.  It is not just her ability to have me completely totally obedient to her.  She has the power to create submissive desires within me where none existed before.  She can take me from “being not in the mood” to off the charts in less than 5 seconds.    

 There is NOTHING that a dominant female has ever or will ever do a submissive male that I don’t want her to do to me.  Please Mistress Samantha, I publicly beg you to whip, humiliate, shame, tie me up, and subject to all forms including extreme female domination, punishment, and discipline. The more extreme the better.  I crave her to punish and dominate me completely with no limits. 

Yes – she has completely trained her personal, private “submissive pet” and I will be owned by her forever.

 

 

It has been over 3 1/4 years since…

My first meeting with Mistress Samantha.  She had reviewed my background, interest, and experience.  She made her plans and intentions for me quite clear.  Mistress Samantha had decided she was going to be turn me into a girl.  Well perhaps unlike, some submissives who dress in female attire, I never found any erotic desires or interest in that idea.  It was something of little interest.  I was polite but mentally very confidently and quite arrogantly dismissed it.  I privately laughed and snickered at it.  Yes it was cocky disdain and total self-confidence that she could not.   

The amazing thing is it didn’t take Mistress Samantha long before she had me telling her “ I want to be a girl“.  To be followed by “I am a girl” evolving to my asking her to  “keep me as a girl forever“.  Then came the real in-depth training from Mistress Samantha and my begging/pleading her “I want to be a feminine girl” Then it went even further “please mistress turn me into a feminine girlie girl”  Oh but even that wasn’t enough anymore “please mistress I cannot resist, I beg/plead with you turn me into an very ultra feminine girlie girl“.

I think it is pretty clear, that Mistress Samantha gave me the full complete treatment.  

Now am I referring to the fact that

  • I’ve been wearing panties/stockings every single day for last 3 years
  • That I now shop for my own lingerie and the shop owners know it is for me to wear
  • That I’ve been fitted in formal gowns in prom stores/bridal boutiques
  • I have my girls hair style done in a salon while I’m wearing my wig
  • That I personally shop for my own makeup
  • That I’ve had makeup lessons in stores.

Absolutely but that the mere tip – the external manifestations of my being turned into an ultra feminine girlie girl.  Oh Mistress Samantha was far more through than that.  What about the psychological  emotional, and intellectual. Totally completely feminized also.  I know that I’m am really truly a girl inside – yes all girl, ultra girlie girl on the inside.   Did Mistress stop there?  Hardly.  I have a very profound inner personality and persona that is all girl also.  It even shows in my body language, that I have to now work at times to keep in check – it is very feminine.   I fully embrace myself as a very cute, adorable feminine girlie girl.    Is Mistress done with me now?  Oh, I seriously doubt it and assure you she may just be starting her turning me into a girl.

Indeed in this process – Mistress has discovered something else that she is going to turn me into. This is beyond mortifying, humiliating and embarrassing.  What is it?   I’m not saying for now.  But this one, I have a profound weakness for which is now quite apparently to Mistress Samantha.  The question will become does it make this blog or does it make a new blog.  Time will tell….

Keep reading it is just the mere beginning of where I will be taken and go.  

How you wear your panties is quite revealing in more ways than one

Should you be caged and not allowed to become erect when you are wearing your pretty bra, panties, and stockings.  The picture below is a good example 

milking-maids

Or should you be put on display with no restraints.   The graphic below is a good example

bursting

Of course, both need to be done to a submissive. I have had both done to me by Mistress Samantha.  

The first method has the advantage of not allowing any erection at all.  Physically, constrained and caged.  Relief is impossible in the silky encased cage.  If the cock tries to get erect and it will – the result will be physical pain.  Caged and feminized. 

The 2nd method – well you’re going to have a full erect cock in front of her.  Fully completely turned on and no place or way to hide it.  Relief isn’t going to happen here either because she is not going to let it.  You’ll stand in front of her totally turned on embarassed and ashamed which only makes it get harder – a self fulling prophecy.

The first style implies and re-enforces pain.  The 2nd style is about shame – totally turned on in your panties and stockings for her entertainment.   

As I said, both methods are needed but I have a very definite preference for the 2nd style.  Totally turned on in front of her and helpless to relieve the erection because she will not let me.  

Yes your preference for how you prefer to wear your panties is very revealing