I have been on fire for the last 5 weeks. I tried to control the fire today. See caption and the poll underneath the caption for your feedback.
Four years ago this month, I was punished and had to wear panties and pantyhose on a 24 hours a day and 7 days a week basis for a period of time. After the punishment period, I was given a choice. I could take them off or leave them on. However, if I left them on, I would have to wear them all the time from now on. Permission would be required to remove them. Not only did I choose to keep them on, I begged Mistress to let me keep wearing them. I pleaded with her for the privilege of being kept in panties and stockings all the time – knowing the rules before I did so. I wanted to show her how strong my commitment, devotion, passion, and desire had become to continue my training by her. My power to control being feminized was laid at Mistresses feet.
So in the last four years, how many times have I asked to remove them? Zero. I cannot stop dressing in them – my desires and needs are too powerful and no longer controllable by me. Of course, permission was never going to be given by Mistress anyway. That is just understood and doesn’t need to be re-stated.
My wife knows and fully expects me to be dressed in panties and stockings. When my wife sees my behavior stating to deviate from its desired state, she will tell me it’s time to meet with Samantha. Off to your room, anywhere from 30-60 minutes early before your meeting to get dressed and if Samantha decides to be spanked by her. My wife, will check my face in the morning to make sure no traces of lipstick, eye shadow, or mascara remain before I go to work. Although my wife doesn’t like to personally do this, she loves the results of having Samantha do this to her husband.
Now look at me in Sept 2014, unable to resist sleeping in my pretty pink Victoria Secret bra and nightgown with matching pink panties, sheer pantyhose. Bracelet adorning my wrist with plum lipstick and lip gloss. Of course, with my lovely silicon breast forms.
The girl inside and mistress rules but not how you may think.
It is never by force. They rule by knowing my inner desires and how to make me so excited I must dress immediately as a sexy pretty girl. OH…OH..OH…I cannot resist or stop.
Today the lacy Victoria’s Secret bra I am wearing in these pictures will stay on all day as well as my panties and stockings under my clothes. I cannot bear to take the pretty lacy bra off – I love wearing bra’s – especially lacy padded bra’s. Oh it may not show under my polo shirt but it feels so, so, so GOOD to be shopping dressed this way underneath.
So you think you can resist dressing this way, the next time? You cannot. Ask yourself these questions.
Well this side of you, this special excitement, this desire is not going away. You cannot control it, stop it or make it go away. It’s been that way since you were a young boy. You know that’s the truth you try to hide.
Yes the desire to do this is deeply ingrained in you. It may be suppressed for a period of time but it never goes away. Nobody changes their sexual desires and attractions. Everybody manages them. Denial, suppression does not work. It will fail just like it has every other time in your past.
It is time for you to understand, SHE is going to have HER way with you. Whether you want to or not. You are going to be dressed as a pretty girl, time and time again. You cannot resist or stop her. The girl inside of you – she has you in her powerful grip She always has had you in her grip and she always will.
Time for you to be a well behaved girl. Put on your panties, stockings, dress, and high heels NOW. She has decided it is time for you to dress again. You know it is. That’s why you’re reading this blog. The desire is building again, it will soon be too powerful to resist and you cannot stop it.
This is your inescapable fate, relax and get dressed. Fight and resist if you must. But she is going to put your back in panties, stockings, dress and high heels again. It will happen shorty whether you try and resist or not. She always wins and deep down inside you know it. So be a good girl and put your pretty feminine clothes on right now.
Just over 4 years ago, my training began. I privately scoffed, at her claim, that she was going to turn me into a girl. No way lady, I privately said to myself.
I tried to purge her away, as I could sense her beginning to gain control of me. I failed. It was too late, she know me too well and how to set my desires on fire.
Well, it took her less than 2 months. Yes, in under 2 months, she had me on my knees begging and pleading with her to turn me into a girl. I was so under her influence that I couldn’t resist begging and pleading her for this. In just 6-7 short weeks, she had me in her grip – to be humbled first and beg for her to carry out her plan. It was now not a question of if she would, it was only a question of when she would.
Within 5-6 months, my training was expanded. She informed me that I’d be wearing panties/stockings 24 hours a day 7 days a week for 30 days. 30 days soon became 90 days
After 90 days, stage 1 of my training and conditioning was now complete.
I love being called Miss. It runs chills up my spine.
Panties and bra’s – I adore wearing them.
So a nickname of Miss Bra and Miss Panties is very descriptive. Ah but that’s not enough – it doesn’t show a deep enough commitment to my desires.
I am Miss Lacy Bra and Miss Silky Panties.
Laughing/smiling/grinning ear to ear. This is a perfect descriptive nickname for me. All of the above 100% real.
You will be wearing a bridal gown shortly — in front of me, my sisters, my mother, your sisters and your mother. From this moment on, you are my personal private PROPERTY. I will do whatever I want, whenever I want to and in front of anybody I choose to. You are totally powerless to even try to stop me. You will be further emasculated, broken, and enslaved so you are totally powerless in front of every female. You be kept this way forever and you will beg, plead for the privilege.
Would I really do it? Yes.
Do I really want to wear a bridal dress? Yes.
So it may be my wicked fantasy side but only because the opportunity to do this did not present itself.
*Within the following entry, the tale-telling of Mommy’s little wanna-be-girl-boy will be in a white/black while Mommy Dearest‘s thoughts will be featured in red.*
Mommy has a very special treat for her little boy tonight. Mommy is having her girlfriends, her sisters, and her mother over for a party. Some of them are bringing their daughters. There will be anywhere between 30-40 females at the party. (Mommy has already, in fact, “exposed” her femme toy to select females in real time via detailed anecdotes – and even a few still shots- of Mommy’s panty-wearing little boy. These women include my own mother and some close friends, all of whom were greatly amused by seeing my boy all dolled up in ruffles, bows, plenty of pink – and even sporting a lipstick red derriere!)
Mommy is going to have you wearing lipstick, lip gloss, mascara, eyeliner, eye shadow, and rouge as you normally do. For tonight only, Mommy is going to let you wear a wig for the entire evening. Your hair will be pulled back and tied with a pink bow into a pony tail. (Let us not forget the long false eyelashes, the bedazzled pink collar, and sweet little hair accessories! We must also not forget that the pony tail will consist on long blonde ringlets, all pulled back together. Of course, my bondage boy need not forget that Mommy can decide to take that wig away at ANY time she likes, as SHE IS THE BOSS ALWAYS!)
Mommy is dressing you as a really pretty girl from the neck up.
From the neck down, Mommy is going to dress you all in PINK, a pink open shelf bra, a lacy pink garter belt, sheer beige stockings attached to the pink garter belt and very tall pink high heels. Plus you are going to wear long satin pink gloves. (What about the panties, my dear? You know, I am referring to the panties that will hide whatever feminine “detailing” (pink bow maybe??) I decide should adorn your “special area,” which Mommy now owns completely…)
Doesn’t your new outfit look pretty and sexy?
You see, tonight is a very special night. You are going to meet another little “boy” kept like you are and his mommy. The mommy whose little “boy” is dressed the prettiest and most feminine gets a $50 party prize from our party fund that Mommy set up for this evening. I plan on winning that prize. That little “boy” is now going to be your “girlfriend” and you are her “girlfriend”. In fact, tonight will mark the beginning of a VERY CLOSE relationship that you girls are going to have with each other. (And… Each and every time you darling “girls” have a “play date” together, you WILL conduct yourselves like little ladies in every way – from dressing to walking to talking to… playing! There will be NO hesitation, pausing or shyness allowed!! Oh no! You will behave naturally as a “real” girl would.)
Now, do you see the pretty pink panties on the bed? Well, the reason you get to wear the wig is because you will NOT be wearing any panties tonight. (Or… Mommy may have you put them on to serve as “girlie wrapping” for the excited toy you will be hiding within them…) You and your new girlfriend are going to go through special humiliation and punishment training tonight. Remember Mommy warned you that if you asked again for Mommy to embarrass you, you would be getting the full treatment. Well you kept it up and up, didn’t you? So now you will learn the consequences of ignoring Mommy’s warning. Yes. Be sure that the domination, humiliation, exposure, and punishment will be plentiful tonight, as I have told you more than once to be careful for what you wish – because you just might get it! Now, my pet, get it you shall!!)
All the guests will be playing a fun party game while you and your new girlfriend are being punished. In fact, it’s an integral part of their party game.
The pretty pink panties will only get in the way of the girls party game, so you will not be allowed to wear them tonight. Then again, Mommy may decide that your panties WILL be a part of the game to be used in the way that a curtain is prior to a stage production, when it is raised at the beginning to give the initial view of the characters, scenery, props, and so on. However, in your case, those panties will be lowered to expose that excitement you always unavoidably have in your panties when Mommy gets you all dressed up like her perfect girl. Also, speaking of scenery and props, how do you think your audience of Mommy’s friends and other ladies feel if what they see is a pretty pink bow, a pink-lipstick decorated “item” or even a cage when the “curtain” is lowered to signal the opening of the show?! *laughing*
They are all going to play a group game, it is called the POLE challenge game. Take a look at the picture below, my dear.
You will be tightly collared to your girlfriend, chained and padlocked eyeball to eyeball. It will be so close and tight that the ball gag you both have in your mouths cannot go anywhere. You will be trapped in place. The Mommys’ cocks will be tightly bound so you cannot readily cum - and you will think and behave in a manner that clearly underscores the fact that you are ALWAYS to assume in any given moment that a release is OFF LIMITS without question. Your cocks (WHOSE COCKS?! My dear, regardless of what you call that which sits in your panties, NEVER forget that it is NO LONGER yours – and it shall NEVER be yours again!) will be touching each other, tied together. Any movement will cause them to rub together. Finally the mothers are going to handcuff their daughters to the pole so neither can escape or use her hands.
The women in the room each have a turn. The order is based upon the number in a raffle pick. They each get 3 minutes with both of you in the center of the room with everybody watching. They can take pictures; videos; laugh, mock, taunt, tease, ridicule, and embarrass you; and require each of you to move in any way they want. You and your girlfriend will do everything you are told, immediately and without hesitation or question. (Need I remind you of the humiliating and utterly demeaning things Mommy has done to or required you to do before in the name of punishment and reminding you of your true place???) The only rule for the females in the room is no touching of either of you. Everything else is fair game. If they manage to get one of you to cum, they win $150 party prize; both of you $300. Now, trussed up the way that both of you will be, getting somebody to cum will be very challenging. That thought immensely pleases all the ladies and girls attending. If -or rather when- one or both of you, do cum, expect lots of humiliation pictures of both of you caught “in the act”. Plus, every female in the room gets to see how to really excite and turn that person on. (You know, we may even decide to make things more challenging by having both playmates locked tightly in chastity – at least when the fun begins- in order to watch you two girls at play writhe, squirm, and wiggle in response to the unavoidable restriction you will experience in response to the domination, humiliation, and exposure you are enduring. Seeing the cringing, hearing the gasps of discomfort, and knowing you can do nothing about your predicament will please, amuse, and entertain every “real” female in the room even more! Plus… With those ball gags in place, you can’t verbalize your angst or plead to be unlocked; your only option is to take what you get. Just imagine the heightening of the taunting and teasing when the possibility of your being released from your genital-bondage is suggested and discussed… What fun for all!!!!)
If either of your cum in the first two hours, the prize money is doubled. The losing mother(s) pays the prize money out as a penalty fine. (Should my little pet fail me, there will be nothing short of pure hell, humiliation, and INTENSE domination and punishment given to her…)
To make sure our young ladies understand that lack of control -hence, direct disobedience and failure to know her place- is unacceptable, if it happens and a naughty girl cums before 2 hours have expired, both girls will be equally punished! We will be playing the game each subsequent weekend until you BOTH can last the minimum 2 hour time frame. (And I expect that you will both quickly learn how to “behave” yourselves in response -and an attempt to avoid- the consequences of failure…)
Now, there are just two last rules. First, the loser has to lick up and swallow every drop of her own cum, no matter where it goes. Every single drop is to be licked up and swallowed, no matter where it goes. Second, we all choose Friday night for a reason. We all agreed and love the concept there will be a loser in this game. Even if it takes all weekend !!!! I think you know all too well Mommy’s feelings about wasting perfectly good cum. Be sure EVERY last miniscule drop WILL be consumed! That IS the non-negotiable rule.
Now dear, if I were you I’d be thinking of ways to turn-on your pretty new friend before she turns you on. *laughing* Remember the 2 hour minimum rule and that you are both punished if you both don’t last 2 hours. Beyond 2 hours, remember the game goes on until one of you loses!!!
Isn’t Mommy’s new game fun ? The woman and girls attending the party cannot wait to play it.
Be careful what you ask, beg, and plead for, as you may just get it – in spades. Yes, my dear. You certainly may…
This blog is about real life experiences unless I otherwise say so in an entry. Well, this blog entry is all about Real Life but it is mostly about an honest true portrait of my real desires. YES I would have done ALL of these these things and would still do them today. Many of these things have been done with Mistress Samantha. So some parts of this are truly aspirations and dreams to be fulfilled. Reality of real life submission is it should include your true honest thoughts and desires. Everything in this blog I wanted done and still want done.
My burning fire which will not subside is about being feminized, disciplined, dominated, controlled, and emasculated by my mommy. Especially emasculated.
Yes – I started sneaking in Mommy’s clothes at around age 10. I loved to wear mommy’s black silky panties, bra’s, slips, dresses, sheer pantyhose and her tall black patent leather high heels. I used to tie myself up, bound with ropes tied spread eagle to HER bed hoping she would catch me. I wanted her to find me, to see me dressed this way and for her to dominate/control and make me dress this way from now on.
Fantasy? No the REAL truth for all to know and see. I have wanted this my whole life.
I wanted Mommy to dominate, discipline, control, and feminize me from head to toe.
Yes I wanted the full treatment from Mommy. I still want the full treatment from Mommy. Dressed by Mommy in the ultimate female dress – a bridal gown. Chained to the couch – unable to escape. My sister watching. Waiting for mommy’s friends and our relatives to come over. I wanted to wear a bridal dress, wear it for everybody to see. Dressed completely from head to toe including the jewelry, nail polish and makeup. Everything but a wig. That’s so I can be shamed, humiliated, embarrassed by mommy in front of her and all her friends and our relatives.
Did I really truthfully want Mommy to do this to me? YES and I mean it !!!!
Oh the fire burns even more thinking of Mommy dominating me:
I could go on and on for hours.
I want to be put over the knee of other woman in front of Mommy. My skirt lifted, panties down and spanked while Mommy watched and encouraged her to spank me harder and harder. Yes an over the knee bare ass spanking wearing mommy’s dress, stockings, high heels in front of mommy until my bottom is beat red. Of course, when I do the clothes go back into place.
A new dawn and beginning is emerging. I can no longer control the submissive flames and feminine desires. They now control me. I can no longer resist them. I HAVE to frequently wear silky panties, sheer stockings, lacy bra’s, high heels, and dresses. I have to continually experience being dominated, control, disciplined by women. Yes my need Mommy to feminize, dominate, and discipline her son burns in my inner core. Please mommy hold nothing back – you know what to do – the complete treatment, the full dose, the entire package. Increase – significantly increase – the psychological, emotional, and intellectual control/domination of me. Yes – you have me publicly begging, pleading and groveling for it.
I want to be permanently enslaved to mommy.Dressed by mommy in panties, bra’s, garter belts, stockings, corsets, pantyhose, dresses, skirts/blouses, nightgowns, high heels, lipstick, lip gloss, eye shadow, eyeliner and mascara. Kept tied, chained, and cuffed physical to be spanked, disciplined, and punished.
But most all Mommy to be kept in full mental and psychological domination and control by you. I’m ready for the 1st baby step Mommy
I really do dislike the term sissy. My belief is that many use this term because that is an expectation of others. I find sissy behavior in most ways to be mocking and a parody of females. It is borderline insulting to the females almost making fun of them.
Female domination has a significant component that consists of male emasculation. Males are to be thoroughly completely emasculated by their female owners. It is the treatment they deserve. Emasculation is psychological castration keeping the male submissive in continual torment and submission. Their tormented submissive state weakened state is used by their female owners to continue the molding and breaking process. They are helplessly led further and much deeper into submission to their female owner.
Having males dress in female attire is about taking that psychological emasculation to the next level. It is males who decided how females should be dressed as they set the expectations. Now the worm has turned. What got imposed on females is now imposed by female owners on their property. Turnaround is called perfect justice.
Ah but once a female owner takes possession of her property just as she was expected to change her name – so must her possession. Turnaround is fair play. This is not just a label it is who you must become since you are now her property. I am Miss Nina Paige. To be clear my owner does not keep me dressed as a girl with a girls name. No, instead she has psycologically turned me into a girl. I am Miss. I am Nina Paige. I am psycologically all girl all the time now.
The standard of my behavior and mantra – it is to be the most exquisite feminine lady in all respects. One who is evolving at all times – becoming more feminine and more ladylike each and every day. Males “came up” with the expectation that females are to be ladies. The turnaround continues some more.
Ah but the worm must turn some more as per the picture below.
My owner does not allow the cock to be touched or stimulated without approval. Masturbation is strictly prohibited.
My owner has made it clear that a sexual reorientation program is in my future. At some point when she decides to, the reorientation training will begin. Sexual pleasure will only be allowed with a very deep penetration of me. I will be reprogrammed to understand, want, crave and desire the deep strap on as the only form of sexual release. This is not a question of if but a question of when.
One final piece of turnaround fairness. Girls are expected to lick, suck and swallow every drop of what the cock emits, The same is now required of Miss Nina Paige. That training is well underway. It is mandatory should I be given my owners permission or instruction to release. Ugh, ugh, ugh. I don’t like it but I dare not miss one drop.
The table have been completely turned. My owner has made it clear, I belong to her, the emasculation is just starting, my feminization has merely scratched the surface and my sexual reorientation training has not truly started.
After 4 years of my owners training, I am truly helpless to resist, disobey or displease her. Even despite that I am only her “trainee”.
The true training and intensity is yet to come.