Escape is an impossibility ….

May 5, 2013 - 2 Responses

The business world is filled with stress, anxiety, and tension.  You can escape it, nor can I escape the fate that awaits me now and forever.  

At home that means slipping into a lacy bra, silicone breast forms, pink lipstick, wig, tight waist cincher, and 5 1/4″ platform pumps, to complement my pretty panties and sheer stockings.  All the while watching myself in a full length mirror.  It relaxes me and makes me calm.  Completely & totally turned on with no hope of pleasure.  Mistress keeps me in constant and total denial of any sexual relief.  I cannot escape the business world that drives the constant stress, anxiety and tension.  Nor can I escape the lacy bra and all the other attire that await me.  Deeper and deeper I go and it continues to feed upon itself. The grip of femininity, submission and slavery to females continues to tighten and  take total control of me.

Yes I will never escape nor  do I even want to try.

I’ve been completely feminized and I am totally submissive to females.   

Thank you all Ladies

April 1, 2013 - Leave a Response

 I really love other females knowing how much dressing like a girl sexually and powerfully turns me on.  I find it be so exciting, and unbelievable powerful  sexual attraction to dressing this way.  Can you spell sizzling HOT SEXUAL TURN-ON !

Any wonder why I have been doing this since my early teenage years?  Once I slipped on my first pair of silky lacy panties, sheer stockings and lacy bra – I became totally hooked.  It was such a powerful, total, complete, absolute turn-on and still is.  Yes I became a complete slave to these desires from the very first moment I dressed this way and I still am.   Have I done everything I could to resist these desires? Yes but my attempts to resist them always overwhelmed, crushed, and totally defeated by my sexual excitement, desire, and passions.  Of course, that was before Mistress Samantha turned me into a girl, committed me to be her personal submissive/personal property, and required me to wear panties/stockings for a few months.  Now I cannot bear to take off my silky panties and sheer stockings for even 1 day – yes I’ll be continually feminized for over 2.5 years now.  Totally completely turned on at all times.  

Back to other females – oh yes I love them knowing how much this excites me.  In the past 2 years, 18+ woman know of my passion, excitement, and turn-on for doing this.  Do you know how exciting, rewarding, and enticing it feels to have them willing help and assist me?  Oh – Ladies you are so wonderful.  Who are they specifically?

Mistress Samantha : Mistress, Owner & Coach

  My wife : who allows me to do this 

Michelle, Nikki, and Jessica : Style my wigs while I’m wearing wigs in the hair salon.  

 Maria, Jean, Diane : Female owned lingerie stores –  help me fit & try on sexy undies

 Ronnie, Janine : Bridal & formal gown shop who fitted/sized me – Mori Lee gown

Dalia : Who altered my Mori Lee gown in her shop after Ronnie, Janine sold it to me

 Laura : Formal gown shop owned who did special order Sherri Hill and sized me

 Tara : Who did a makeup lesson for me in hair salon while my hair was being  done

Victoria, Simone : Photographers willing to snap photo’s of me dressed ( future)

  Frederick’s of Hollywood  Staten Is store : Helped me select & use store try on rooms  

 Halloween stores(2 ladies) : Loved smiles at my dresses try on rooms & checkout

Yes – I love other females knowing and cheerfully, happily assisting me.  Yes I’m becoming an exhibitionist.  I love them knowing and yes I love them seeing me even if it’s just wearing my ankle bracelets of my stocking ankle.   Do I show them pictures of me dressed from head to toe?  Yes.  Do I want them to personally see me this way? I’m blushing – I’ll bet you know that answer.  

Do these woman know I’m submissive to females?  At least 50% of them know.  Ah – but do they realize how submissive I really am?  Probably don’t know how ultra, completely submissive and obedient to females I really am.  As much of a girly girl as I am.  I’m also ultra submissive to females.  

So is there a secret to getting to know such wonderful ladies?  Yes – there is. You need to be relaxed, not tense with who you really are.  I would say that probably 20-30% of woman are quite accepting and willing to help but if you are tense, uptight they will read your body language and be that way also.  You need to relax, smile and be who you are.

Wearing panties, bra’s, stockings, garter belts, dresses, skirts/blouses, nightgowns, wigs, high heels, lipstick, eye shadow, and mascara totally absolutely turn me on - sizzling red hot turn-on.  Dangle a pretty pair of panties in front of me and I’ll do whatever I’m told.  

Thank you ladies for helping me become a true girly girl – one who is very devoted to serving females as their toy, plaything or Barbie doll.

 I LOVE IT & WANT MORE !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Publicly Mortified & Embarrassed

March 16, 2013 - Leave a Response

Every day when I go to my site, I’m mortified & embarrassed at my background photo.  I’ve included it again below in case the background photo gets changed.

12th.jpg

It is not just the ultra feminine attire that I’m wearing.  The lovely pretty white peignoir, stockings, bra, high heels with my hair professional styled in such pretty flowing ringlets.  It’s the very feminine pose that is SCREAMING, SHOUTING & EXUDING what I’ve turned into.  You cannot hide the body language and it says it all even more than the clothes I’m wearing.  The hands, the legs, the shoulders, and the tilt to my head – very, very feminine and ultra girly.  Study the picture and judge for yourself. Yes my feminization training has been quite through, complete, and comprehensive. On public display for the entire world to see.    

Even more mortifying is how incredibly much this sexually turns me on.   How much this excites me.  How much this drives me wild with desires. How it makes me want to be in a very pretty feminine dress even more.  

The background is now both my constant reminder as well as a total sexual turn-0n that keeps the fires burning HOT at all times.  

Oh and feeling mortified, embarrassed and ashamed is a SIZZLING, HOT, BURNING sexual turn-on also.

 I love adore, and crave feeling this way in front of assertive females

 

     

Perfect Justice – Part II

March 2, 2013 - Leave a Response

From Part I – the prior posting (you may want to read this first)

Ah but this appointment will continue Barbie’s paying the price for suppressing and hiding her desires as well as making sure she doesn’t suppress her desires in anyway.  How?  You have to come back to find out.  It will be rather girly.  

Somebody kept hiding, sneaking, and pretending that didn’t want to wear female attire.  What better more perfect justice is there by having them do the absolute opposite now.  Punishment to fit the crime”

Part II 

Punishment to fit the crime of her suppressing and hiding her feminine desires.  Barbie is going to have a woman give her a lesson in how to apply her eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, false eyelashes, eye lash curling, foundation, lipstick and lip gloss.  Yes — in front of all the other woman in the hair shop who do her hair.  Barbie’s first ever makeup lesson.  Barbie packed her purses ( yes Barbie is required to have pretty makeup purses) and her brand new lipsticks, mascara and eyeliner to complement her other makeup that she picked up in a drugstore.  Barbie of course is only allowed now to SHOP IN PERSON & PERSONALLY PICK OUT HER GIRLY ATTIRE.  She doesn’t dare imply that she is shopping for somebody else either – that is completely totally banned.  To add some additional spice, Barbie had to pick up a brand new Victoria Secret Makeup collection in the local Victoria Secret shop.  While she was there she also had to ask for some black control top pantyhose in Size D ( yes – she has to ask for help also). On the way out they had a real cute sexy pair of silk red underwear with black lace.  Alas – she got to leave without them because they only had size medium, and petite small.  

On the way to the hair salon, off came her socks so that her cute ankle bracelets would be prominently displayed especially since she would be required to sit with her legs crossed pulling the hem of the pants legs up.   Like the cute heart?anklechain 

The woman T. who did the makeup lesson was awesome.  She had a complete set of makeup laid out not knowing if I was going to bring my own makeup.  Since I did we primarily used my makeup.  First she started with the foundation applying it with a brush.  Oh – it looked and felt great.  Then it was onto the eye.  She did one eye  and then watched and corrected me as I did the second eye.  I learned how to apply 3 different shades of eye shadow, followed by eyeliner, mascara, false eyelashes, and then even using an eyelash curler.  She taught me how to correct those mistakes with the eye liner, eye shadow, mascara, and eye liner.  Fantastic.  Now – all during this time the back room had every woman who worked in the shop ( must have been at least 6 of them) come back and watch me having my makeup applied and applying it myself.  

After the foundation and the eyes we proceeded to applying rouges to the apple checks and then onto the lips for learning how to apply lip liner first to fully shape the lips and then followed by application of lipstick followed finally by lip gloss.  I cannot say enough about T. and her service.  She was great and taught me so, so much.  When she was done, it was time to finish the hair.  Lovely long ringlets with a really cute bow by M.  the Goddess of Hair Styling at HC.    How did I feel when I was done?   Good thing I didn’t have my bra, breast forms, waist cincher, dress and high heels in the car.  I’d have mostly certainly been putting it on for the women in the store to see the complete picture.  I would not have been able to resist it.  

So yes Barbie, who used to suppress, deny, and completely shutdown those feminine desires is now having her hair done in public as well as her makeup.  Did she leave the store in her makeup?  Now but when she got home she applied it again almost immediately.  Now, I do admit it was rushed for time but it was the best job ever.  That was followed by Sunday night and next Wednesday night.  Each time was better than the prior time.  Last Wednesday, Mistress was flabbergasted at my makeup ( my first time with the lashes glued on, eyelashes curled, and elegantly bronzed in addition to my foundation). Yes – my training by T. really, really shows.  Mistress is so pleased.  

Both M. who does my hair and T. who did the makeup both thought it was such a shame you couldn’t show everybody your pretty makeup.  Oh Barbie wasn’t going to get away with that – no a chance of it.  That was the plan all along dear – public display.  Yes part of perfect justice Part II.  You’ve not only been turned into a girl but you also a Barbie doll to be dressed and played with.   Do you like showing your pretty lips and eyes to everybody Barbie?  LOL – you don’t get a say in the matter.  

 

FACEP

Of course, we need pictures of Barbie’s wonderful, cute, girly hairdo also.  Long curly ringlets with a lovely bow made out of her hair.

20130221_181626

Oh so pretty and girly. 

20130221_181630

Sweet Barbie, you resisted for so long and now you cannot resist and help yourself.  Yes, perfect justice is just starting, we haven’t even scratched the surface yet. 

Perfect Justice for the submissive “closet” cross dresser

February 8, 2013 - 5 Responses

What’s the perfect justice for a  submissive “cross dresser” who suppressed, hid, and used to sneak into woman’s clothing because it turned him on so much and he didn’t want anybody to know?

(1) It starts with so you want to dress like a girl?  Then you are a girl !!! You change the thinking to match the desires, you give her a girl’s name, and mold/shape/reorient her thinking.   It is she or her from now on – you have her referring to herself this way and constantly using her new name.  It begins to grip her.  

(2) Then it progresses to having her wear panties and stockings all the time until she becomes totally unable to resist wearing them constantly.  You have her begging, and pleading to please be allowed to wear them.  Once she reached this stage – she will never be getting out of her panties and stockings for an extended period again.  She is broken from her ability to suppress her desires. 

 LOL, LOL, LOL  - psychological transformation into a girl.    You then train her that she is NEVER, EVER allowed to suppress these desires again even for 1 second.  MISTRESS SAMANTHA WILL NOT TOLERATE THAT – TOTALLY DISALLOWED !!

A perfect trap for her.  Turned on by wearing her panties and stockings with no way to suppress those desires.  Her submissive desires enhanced by her now helpless ability to suppress them  coupled by the feel of her pretty silky underwear which has her so turned on.  A circle where the desires only tighten, increase and grow –  constant 24 hours a day, 7 day a week  - desires she must now accept !!!

Somebody wanted to play around wearing panties, dresses, stockings, bra’s and makeup? Kept it up, and up and up and would not quit.  What better delicious fitting justice than psychologically turning her into a very complete, totally feminine girly girl.  

Ah but she dared to hide her desires and sneak into woman’s clothing in the past.  She needs to pay the price for that also.  

(A) Girls shop for their clothes.  No – not on the internet and mail order.  In person – totally unable to suppress her desires and also being PUNISHED for the years of hiding and sneaking.  Yes – the girls in the store have to be told she is shopping for her clothes.  Halloween stores to try them on, Victoria’s Secret, Frederick’s of Hollywood, Independent lingerie stores, bridal/prom shops, breast forms and wig shopping.   Cross dressing boutiques?  N0 – generally banned.  Woman’s shops only.  Does she cheat and not them?  She doesn’t dare because Mistress may check on her.

(B) Girls get their hair styled in Hair salons.  Yes – in the chair wearing her hair and getting styled.  More punishment to fit the crime for hiding and sneaking.  Of course, wearing her Barbie necklace and in front of several of the boutiques hair stylists.   Barbie loves and adores to have her hair styled in person.  Can she cheat and do the hair herself?  Her appointments are posted on Mistresses Calendar.  What if Mistress checked and she was cheating?  She doesn’t dare. 

Now, one exception to hair styling in PERSON is my synthetic wig.  They need to be dropped off and styled for a long period since the hair needs to set.  M. at H.C. hair styling  salon (aka Goddess of Hair Styling ) sent me a picture of my hair being styled.  Here it is.IMG950968

When will I pick it up?  My next hair styling appointment which is less than 2 weeks away ( YAY !!!!).  

Ah but this appointment will continue Barbie’s paying the price for suppressing and hiding her desires as well as making sure she doesn’t suppress her desires in anyway.  How?  You have to come back to find out.  It will be rather girly.  

Somebody kept hiding, sneaking, and pretending that didn’t want to wear female attire.  What better more perfect justice is there by having them do the absolute opposite now.  Punishment to fit the crime

LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL – Mistress Samantha has you so controlled and girly now Barbie.

Oh – BTW Barbie (football fan) watched the super bowl wearing a bra, panties, half slip, pull over sweater blouse, pleated mini-skirt and high heels. Afterwards she was put to bed in a pretty pink nightgown, bra, breast forms, panties and pantyhose in preparation for Monday night.  

On Monday night, she was then taught a lesson and punished for an hour.  An embarrassing hour designed to shame her which it did.  She was required to film it.

Why was she punished?  Well she missed an appointment with Mistress the prior Wednesday.   Oh – she was dressed and ready on Wednesday but with Mistress having not felt well – when Mistress was delayed Barbie did not text her.   Nice thoughts but Barbie needed to be taught a lesson.  

She is Mistress Samantha’s slave.  She is not allowed to make decisions on her own.  She is Mistress Samantha’s personal private property now and her job is total complete utter submission and obedience at all times.  After punishment – she was put back to bed in her nightgown, panties, bra, stockings to sleep on  Monday night.  

How was she punished?  Her least favorite thing to do for a full hour while being taped.  What to know how?   LOL – Perfect justice for the years of suppressing, hiding and she hated it.   Curious?  You want to know?  Ask in the comments and perhaps Mistress Samantha will publicly shame her by having her explain what she had to do.

Oh my ..

January 28, 2013 - Leave a Response

Do you like my pretty pink dress and lovely ringlets?

Real life photo of Barbie

Oh my…I so love, adore, and cherish wearing

  • pretty silk panties
  • lacy bra’s
  • tight waist cincher corsets
  • frilly garter belts
  • sheer lace top stockings fastened to the garter belt
  • tall stiletto high heel pumps
  • silk blouses and mini-skirts
  • pretty dresses (mid thigh)
  • lipstick, lip gloss, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, and blush
  • sheer baby doll night gowns
  • Lovely long hair

I LOVE having my hair styled in the boutique by M. at HC.  

Didn’t she do a spectacular job with my ringlets?  I have a thing for wearing pretty curly ringlets.  As I move my head the lovely soft curls rub across my cheeks and shoulders tantalizing and exciting me provoking me to freshen my lipstick, lip gloss, and eye shadow.   I adore looking at myself in the mirror.

Oh my, my, my, …something has radically changed in the last few months.  Yes – I’ve been dressing in female attire since I was a teenager and have always been excited about being submissive to females but this is VERY different.  I’ve have truly become Barbie psychologically.  

I cannot resist being displayed for Mistress just like a Barbie doll.   Dressed to perfection and under the total direction of  Mistress Samantha for her to do to her doll as she see’s fit.  Yes- I’ve become a real life Barbie doll. When I’m dressed in my clothes I want to be seen – a Barbie doll to be admired and played with by females.    

Oh my, my, my, my feminine girly girl desires are a flame that now engulfs me – a flame that burns brighter and hotter every moment.  Every woman I see whether on TV, a movie, at work, in the mall, on a website now increases my desires.  It reminds me of my passion and desires causing me to think about wearing my makeup, doing my hair, or slipping on one of my pretty feminine dresses.  There is no escape or resisting these flames of my passion.   I love shopping for my clothes.  I adore having my hair styled.  I cherish other females knowing I’m been transformed into a Barbie doll and will be staying this way forever.

I want the readers of this blog to see the Barbie doll that I’ve become so now my picture is posted for all to see.

Yes Barbie is not just a name – it has become the true inner spirit and essence of who I love, adore, and cherish being.    

Barbie’s thoughts

January 18, 2013 - 4 Responses

If you are reading this make sure you read Mistresses comments to me and my response by clicking on the responses which occurred after Mistress read the blog

For almost Barbie’s entire life, “he” resisted and fought the desire.  That powerful sexual desires and urges to put on the dress that turned “him” on so much to wear.  The refusal to acknowledge and admit that “he” wanted to be a slave to females – spanked, punished, and required to obey their every whim.  

Ah but look how far, our feminized submissive has come over the last few years.  

This week, Barbie couldn’t wear her stockings and panties at all for close to four days.  Oh – what pure torment because she wanted to wear them so much.  As of late last night she has them back on again.  Tell the whole Barbie wants on your mind.  

“I love wearing my panties and stockings but it’s not enough.  I need to slip on a lacy bra, a garter belt & stockings, a tight waist cincher, a mini dress to show off my feminine shapely legs, high heels, lipstick, lip gloss, lip liner, mascara, eye shadow, eye liner, do my nails, put on my pretty wig, my earrings and my necklace .  Yes Mistress Samantha turned the girl inside loose.  I’m a feminine girly girl and need to spend as the girl she has turned me into.  I crave it, need it, and I’m totally unable to resist it“.

From total resistance to complete total surrender to who she really is.   

 

.

Quick Update

January 13, 2013 - Leave a Response

Think I’ve been a bad girl and haven’t be focused on being the feminized submissive slave I’ve been turned into?  

No I’ve been focused and busy being a slave girl.  

At this time of year meeting with Mistress isn’t possible but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been busy.  But I cannot tell you doing what.  It’s a surprise even to Mistress.  Another 11-12 days and you will all know what I’ve been doing and what is coming.  LOTS.  

Like my new website background?  It’s a perfect picture where “slaves” like me belong.  It is so good, let’s post it below also.   Press Like if you agree it’s perfect.

buntitled1.jpg 

Barbie’s first trip to Hair Salon

December 19, 2012 - 2 Responses

It is Christmas season, time to have my hair styled to wear with my dress – tonight 12/19.  

Went to the awesome hair styling boutique H.C. where M ( Goddess of Hair Styling) did my hair for this evening.  She also introduced me to the other Ladies in the Hair Styling boutique many of whom came by between customers to watch my hair being styled.  Yes – Barbie was introduced to at least 4 other stylists and friend of M.  AWESOME – I could have stayed all day.  I love having my hair done in a salon.  

Here are the pictures from the Hair Salon including one of me in the chair.  

20121219_140003

IMG950326

Barbie in the hair salon after her hair was styled. My stylist M. recommended II post it for all to see

The pretty red flowers and accessories, were chosen by M. since she wanted to add the extra flair to match the red dress I would be wearing that evening.  Yes M. understands I dress on Wednesdays and asked the color dress I’d be wearing.

One of the other stylists asked me what else I wore and of course like a very behaved  obedient submissive I explained all.  Just so everybody knows  my complete outfit consisted of ruffled red panties, a red garter belt with black lace trim, lace top stockings attached to the garters, a red bra with black trim, a tight red/black corset with the red dress. My lipstick and lip gloss were perfect matches for the pretty red flowers that adorned my braids and of course I was wearing eye shadow and mascara.  I wore both my 5 1/2 stiletto black high heels  as well as my 4″ silver sandals.   For Christmas season, I also wore a red Santa hat. 

Do I have pictures from last night with me fully dressed?  Of course, but they don’t get posted here because they belong to Mistress Samantha.  Might mistress allow these to be shown to the stylists at HC if they want to see them?  I’m sure she will but of course I must ask permission.  Oh what a contrast.  From the demanding, driving, in charge,  ”we are doing it my way” person to a totally obedient, submissive slave girl who knows her place.  Her place?  In a skirt, stockings, high heels on her knees in front of mistress of course.  Females are to be obeyed and served !

Next time, in January, I think Barbie should wear her pretty necklace for all the staff to see. 

Girly girl display

 Did Barbie get punished by Mistress last night?  Oh no – but just wait there is going to be a special day in February where Barbie is going to get IT IN SPADES.  That planning has already started.

Am I done going to this Hair Salon?  LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL & LOL

Only if they don’t let me back but I’ll be a perfect submissive to make sure that doesn’t happen. Plus M. (Goddess of Hair Styling ) is awesome and the other stylists are really friendly!! 

PS : Everybody was destined to see the bra I wore.  See below

Fate - Frederick's pushed this to my Facebook page today.  It is exact bra, including the color, that I wore. So I decided to post it for all to see

Fate – Frederick’s pushed this to my Facebook page today. It is exact bra, including the color, that I wore. So I decided to post it for all to see.

Punishment night

December 9, 2012 - One Response

Last night, Mistress punished me for all the years of being a macho asshole, not properly paying attention to my wife, the manner I treated other women, and the suppression of my desire to wear a dress, panties, and stockings.  

I was warned about being punished last night.  So as her good secretary (yes from business leader to Mistresses pretty feminine secretary – a proper role reversal from me), I organized everything into categories.  Bondage equipment, spanking equipment, Cock/Ball torment, Nipple torment, Anal, Feeding, and Masks.   All total 36 items.  To be clear some of these are normal household items like clothespins, wooden ruler, rubber bands and ice,   Your punishment equipment doesn’t have to be expensive items from adult stores.

 Of course, to start the evening, I was dressed to the “nine’s” – panties, garter belt, stockings, bra, waist cincher  high heels pumps, dress, lipstick, mascara, eye shadow, necklace,bracelet, and long blonde wig.  It didn’t take long before Mistress had me stripped to my feminine underwear to administer the punishment. 

Yes it HURT physically – at one point, I was whimpering through my gag.  Mistress warned me that any more sounds and it would be back to the wooden cane on my ass.  That was enough to keep me in silence.  I did not want any more of that wooden cane. She then proceeded to administer more pain, shame, humiliation  and embarrassment to me on full display before HER on webcam.   What did she do?  Well, we don’t reveal all of Mistresses techniques other than to say she was extremely through.   

The punishment was not random or a show of Mistresses power over me.  It was a reminder of my past behavior and how it will NEVER be tolerated again.  

Thank you Mistress, it was deserved, needed and important to re-enforce my position as your slave girl.

 

 

 

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.